Everything will be okay

Let's end my day on another painful note shall we? And again my mum has managed to completely ruin my day. Everything was going fine until you fucking woke up. Stop overreacting. You're gonna collapse one day because of me using the computer? Please listen to yourself. That is fucking exaggerating. I am sitting at home. Using the damn computer. WHY MUST YOU OVERREACT. PLEASE COME TALK TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE SOME REAL FUCKING PROBLEMS. I TOLD YOU BEFORE IT'S OKAY. STOP WORRYING SO MUCH. I'M NOT GIVING YOU THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT BUT YOU KEEP DIGGING UP FOR THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Or would you prefer it if i go out drinking/hanging around late at night? Because i can fucking do that. I promise you i can. I just don't fucking want to. SO STOP FUCKING WORRYING BEFORE I GIVE YOU SOMETHING REAL TO WORRY ABOUT GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.

CALL ME DISRESPECTFUL OR WHATEVER BUT THIS IS FOR HER OWN DAMN GOOD. JUST LET ME DO WHAT I WANT. IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT'S BAD. LET ME DO WHAT I WANT AND YOU WILL BE FINE WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT. JUST LET GO. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I AM SO SICK OF BEING IN THIS PLACE

I have sorted this out. There is really no point in my existence. Even such a simple thing as using the computer is a burden to my mother. Everything i do is wrong. I'm nothing but a burden to everyone. Nobody fucking cares. I'm better off dead. I won't be a bother to you guys ever again. You guys don't even fucking bother anyways. SO FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK IT. Maybe it's just in the heat of the moment and i'll feel better when i wake up tomorrow but this is what i'm feeling right now and i really wish i has some pills to help me through it.

SPEAKING OF PILLS, SHE DOESN'T EVEN WANNA LET ME TAKE THEM. SHE DOESN'T GET THAT THESE EMOTIONS ARE NOT SOMETHING THAT I WANT IT'S COMING ON ITS OWN AND I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO FIGHT IT SO I NEED MEDICATION. TO HELP ME. ELSE IT'S TORTURING. BUT YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT DISGUSTED FACE WHENEVER THE DOCTOR SUGGEST MEDICATION. LET ME HAVE IT. PLEASEEEEEEEEE. Then maybe i can fucking overdose on it and die or something. Then you'll be free mum. You'll be free.