Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
remember whenever
this is random af when was the last time i even blogged. is blogging even a thing anymore? or do people just blog and call it an article nowadays? strange times we live in. but i've just been spamming alot on twitter and i figured i should spare the poor souls of the people who follow me. so here i am. while i wait for fucking fallout 4 to ever finish downloading.
you know how whenever you think of someone you'd think of certain images. certain moments. certain things they were doing. how you felt. how they were. how they're not anymore. how you don't feel anymore.
disclaimer: i'm not in love with any of the people i'm about to mention anymore but... i guess i just wanna reminisce. i miss the feeling, the memories not the people involved. i just need to get it off my mind. different paragraphs for different people. no names shall be named.
i remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry. taylor get off my post okay for real this time.
i remember our first kiss. that shy little peck you gave me when you walked by. how i just stood there and blushed and giggled like an idiot.
i remember how you put on teenage dream, told me to shhhh and close my eyes.
i remember all the secret kisses in lifts when there's no one around.
i remember how we'd skip classes because we didn't wanna get out of bed. also that one time when we were suppose to volunteer for the salvation army but ended up sleeping in because it was raining. fuck the salvation army anyways amirite.
i remember how you'd hold on my hand in class under your jacket.
i remember that one time we took a long bus trip and you fell asleep on my shoulder. my shoulder was aching because of your awkward head placement but i dare not move. i dare not wake you for you were sleeping so peacefully. i endured. i stayed.
i remember how you'd lie on my chest to listen to my heartbeat and how fast it'd beat whenever you're around. i guess i just never got used to having you.
and i guess i never did.
i remember how you always made me feel like i was never good enough.
i remember how hard you laughed when i tried to dance ballet while pushing a trolley and the pole on it smacked me hard across the head.
i remember how you always smell like ointment and cigarettes. which was strangely pleasing.
i remember sitting back to back with you on that cart while you smoke and it was raining.
i remember when we sat at that dark place outside ikea and how much i wish you would kiss me..
i remember when you laid your head on my shoulder while we were sitting behind the counter. i would've laid my head down on your head but there were customers. and i was shy. oh so shy.
which i guess was what ruined it all because i was always always so anxious around you. couldnt keep my head straight. afraid of saying all the wrong things. so i end up saying nothing.
i remember how scared i was when i first heard you were gonna sit next to me.
i remember falling head over heels for you the moment you spoke to me. i thought it was all platonic feelings but i was so confused. so so confused. i just knew that i wanted to be around you.
i remember that you're the first girl i ever fell for.
i remember you wearing my hoodie and how i'd not let it touch anything else in fear of losing your smell. creepy, i know.
i remember you calling me your santa because i'm always buying you shit. like that one time you casually mentioned on your blog how you'd like a diary and i immediately ran out of the house, bought it and delivered it to you. how did no one suspect that i was gay? was that really considered a friendship gesture?
i remember how i'd stayed back in school to do fuck all just to be around you.
i remember how i'd skipped my extra classes and stay in the library during free period with you. lim kim kim wasn't pleased.
OOO FALLOUT 4 IS DONE DOWNLOADING BRB
you know how whenever you think of someone you'd think of certain images. certain moments. certain things they were doing. how you felt. how they were. how they're not anymore. how you don't feel anymore.
disclaimer: i'm not in love with any of the people i'm about to mention anymore but... i guess i just wanna reminisce. i miss the feeling, the memories not the people involved. i just need to get it off my mind. different paragraphs for different people. no names shall be named.
i remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry. taylor get off my post okay for real this time.
i remember our first kiss. that shy little peck you gave me when you walked by. how i just stood there and blushed and giggled like an idiot.
i remember how you put on teenage dream, told me to shhhh and close my eyes.
i remember all the secret kisses in lifts when there's no one around.
i remember how we'd skip classes because we didn't wanna get out of bed. also that one time when we were suppose to volunteer for the salvation army but ended up sleeping in because it was raining. fuck the salvation army anyways amirite.
i remember how you'd hold on my hand in class under your jacket.
i remember that one time we took a long bus trip and you fell asleep on my shoulder. my shoulder was aching because of your awkward head placement but i dare not move. i dare not wake you for you were sleeping so peacefully. i endured. i stayed.
i remember how you'd lie on my chest to listen to my heartbeat and how fast it'd beat whenever you're around. i guess i just never got used to having you.
and i guess i never did.
i remember how you always made me feel like i was never good enough.
i remember how hard you laughed when i tried to dance ballet while pushing a trolley and the pole on it smacked me hard across the head.
i remember how you always smell like ointment and cigarettes. which was strangely pleasing.
i remember sitting back to back with you on that cart while you smoke and it was raining.
i remember when we sat at that dark place outside ikea and how much i wish you would kiss me..
i remember when you laid your head on my shoulder while we were sitting behind the counter. i would've laid my head down on your head but there were customers. and i was shy. oh so shy.
which i guess was what ruined it all because i was always always so anxious around you. couldnt keep my head straight. afraid of saying all the wrong things. so i end up saying nothing.
i remember how scared i was when i first heard you were gonna sit next to me.
i remember falling head over heels for you the moment you spoke to me. i thought it was all platonic feelings but i was so confused. so so confused. i just knew that i wanted to be around you.
i remember that you're the first girl i ever fell for.
i remember you wearing my hoodie and how i'd not let it touch anything else in fear of losing your smell. creepy, i know.
i remember you calling me your santa because i'm always buying you shit. like that one time you casually mentioned on your blog how you'd like a diary and i immediately ran out of the house, bought it and delivered it to you. how did no one suspect that i was gay? was that really considered a friendship gesture?
i remember how i'd stayed back in school to do fuck all just to be around you.
i remember how i'd skipped my extra classes and stay in the library during free period with you. lim kim kim wasn't pleased.
OOO FALLOUT 4 IS DONE DOWNLOADING BRB
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