I'm sorry. I know i've been horrible the past few days or week or whatever. My mood swings are like super fucked up. I get angry and annoyed very easily. Please know that i don't mean any of it... I never meant for it to bother anyone because it has never bothered anyone. I just needed to express my emotions and be done with it. Nobody ever cared about it and i didn't expect anyone to be bothered by it... I'm sorry. I know i'm lazy and i don't really care about things. I take life too... lightly? I don't take things seriously even though they are. It's how i've been living for the past 16 years and it has been working fine (i guess). But whether you believe it or not, i'll change okay? I'm trying. It's a habit. I know i make promises that i can't keep but please believeee. If even you don't believe in me, i don't think anyone ever will anymore. I didn't have a reason to change in the past but now i do! And the reason is you. So please, don't give up on me. I'm sorry for all the emotional pain i've caused you. Maybe not pain but like, i don't know la. Whatever you call it. I'm sorry that this sunshiney weather keeps raining nowadays. I'm feeling a little off kilter i don't know why but please just now that it's not you, it's me. It has always been me. You on the other hand is awesome and the best. Please don't ever blame yourself. I know you care but please try not to care so much about me because i don't deserve it. I'm sorry that i have no self worth. Whenever you compliment me or something, i'll disagree and stuff and i might even like, point out all my own flaws and basically just shoot myself. I'll try to work something out. Don't know what but i'll try and boost my self esteem :/ I'm sorry i sometimes say things without thinking. Please know that i don't mean it... I know i've said this alot of times but i really can't help it... It just slips out but i really mean no harm :/ I would never want to and i can never bear to hurt you. Everytime i do something wrong, i feel like stabbing myself in the face with a knife. I'm sorry that i'm not good enoughhhhh. I really am. I'm sorry that i'm like that.
Please don't ever think less of yourself or anything. Please please please know and remember that you are really the best. The most awesome girlfriend anyone can ever have and i'm so lucky to have you. Throughout my life, i always feel so... screwed? I dreaded everything but you came along and changed everything. Because of you, i started singing in the shower. Believe it or not, i love singing but i never really felt like singing in the shower. Sometimes i'm even crying but now i'm singing loud and proud. I find myself smiling for no apparent reason. I walk with a skip in my step! Even though you can't see because i can't skip, i feel like i am. HAHA. You send my soul sky high~ Nobody loves me like you do. I never loved anyone as much as you. I never knew i could ever feel this way.
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