i'll keep trying

I'm sorry. I know i've been horrible the past few days or week or whatever. My mood swings are like super fucked up. I get angry and annoyed very easily. Please know that i don't mean any of it... I never meant for it to bother anyone because it has never bothered anyone. I just needed to express my emotions and be done with it. Nobody ever cared about it and i didn't expect anyone to be bothered by it... I'm sorry. I know i'm lazy and i don't really care about things. I take life too... lightly? I don't take things seriously even though they are. It's how i've been living for the past 16 years and it has been working fine (i guess). But whether you believe it or not, i'll change okay? I'm trying. It's a habit. I know i make promises that i can't keep but please believeee. If even you don't believe in me, i don't think anyone ever will anymore. I didn't have a reason to change in the past but now i do! And the reason is you. So please, don't give up on me. I'm sorry for all the emotional pain i've caused you. Maybe not pain but like, i don't know la. Whatever you call it. I'm sorry that this sunshiney weather keeps raining nowadays. I'm feeling a little off kilter i don't know why but please just now that it's not you, it's me. It has always been me. You on the other hand is awesome and the best. Please don't ever blame yourself. I know you care but please try not to care so much about me because i don't deserve it. I'm sorry that i have no self worth. Whenever you compliment me or something, i'll disagree and stuff and i might even like, point out all my own flaws and basically just shoot myself. I'll try to work something out. Don't know what but i'll try and boost my self esteem :/ I'm sorry i sometimes say things without thinking. Please know that i don't mean it... I know i've said this alot of times but i really can't help it... It just slips out but i really mean no harm :/ I would never want to and i can never bear to hurt you. Everytime i do something wrong, i feel like stabbing myself in the face with a knife. I'm sorry that i'm not good enoughhhhh. I really am. I'm sorry that i'm like that.

Please don't ever think less of yourself or anything. Please please please know and remember that you are really the best. The most awesome girlfriend anyone can ever have and i'm so lucky to have you. Throughout my life, i always feel so... screwed? I dreaded everything but you came along and changed everything. Because of you, i started singing in the shower. Believe it or not, i love singing but i never really felt like singing in the shower. Sometimes i'm even crying but now i'm singing loud and proud. I find myself smiling for no apparent reason. I walk with a skip in my step! Even though you can't see because i can't skip, i feel like i am. HAHA. You send my soul sky high~ Nobody loves me like you do. I never loved anyone as much as you. I never knew i could ever feel this way. 

it's been awhile but here is a song dedication for katy perry...

I know it's time I need to move on

Everyone is sayin' I need to control

The way I'm acting

The things that I'm doing ain't good for me

'Cause I know this time I'm really trippin'

I know that it's deeper than what I'm feelin'

And I realize she's bad for my health

But it's too good just to walk away

She's got me in a daze 

She's got me in a trance

She's got me so thrown tonight 

No, I need to recover

I keep falling back in love

And I know that this girl

She's not the one for me

And I know I'm only makin' it worse

When I let her go then I come on back every time I leave

Every time I leave, every time I leave I keep comin' back

Every time I leave, every time I leave every time I leave

I keep comin' back every time I leave

When I feel like she's out of that system of hers

Something pulls me in then I return to let her use me

I care not how she do me as long as she's around

In my mind I see that I'm slippin'

But I still can't seem to see the difference

My heart is sayin' yes to go

Body's sayin' no to it

I need to get a grip on this

nomnomnom

HI YOU CUTE ASS PIGGY!!!!!!! 

I am currently hungry. Anyways, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR UPLOADING THIS PICTURE HEHEHE. Hmmm. What to say. Right now i just really miss you. It feels weird not having you by my side. I hate saying goodbye to you T.T Heart painnnnnn. Stop being so overly nice to me. As in, like nice can la but don't buy so much things for me!! Seriouslyyyy. NO.

I like how you think too much about some things too. Hahaha! FINALLY. Someone else who share the same kind of thoughts and stuff. Interesting interesting. Horoscopes are very true yesyes. I just don't like it when you mention about us breaking up! I know this kind of thing is possible but don't think about it!! YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. If even you don't believe it, it's not gonna work out. You know you know? Heh. I also don't know how to say leh. Hmmm. Nevermind. WEE

Okay ah, my brain dead and you sleepy already. GO SLEEP. I love you piggy MUAHH

i have a tummyache now

2nd month and counting!!

I am currently listening to lovey lovey songs and smiling to myself like an idiot~ All these lyrics sounded so dumb to me in the past like PSSH what the hell like WHO WOULD EVER DO THAT! Like, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU FEEL THIS WAY?! But now i totally completely understand. Love is such a strange and awesome thinggg~ I miss you so much... I love how you look at those small little things i do like just now how you described me when i sleep and stuff. Woahhh. I don't know what else to say :/ You're the best thing that has ever happened to me~ Now till forever, stay my baby! I'm so sorry about my moodswing today!! I blame my "auntie" for "knocking on my door" HAHA. But i don't mean it okay :/ I'm sorry!! I'll try to control it next time. Hehehehehehe.

Oh and thank you so much for the headphones!! You used up like most of your allowance for it x.x Silly gurl. Don't ever do that again! Your hunger is more important ok!!!

Heart on my sleeve

It's 4:12am, i'm all alone and i need you now~~ I suddenly miss you alotalotalotalot. And i realise all i blog about is you now heh. You're my everehthangggggg. In the past whenever people ask me like "How are you?" I'll just answer with a normal "Fine" but now i'm like "I'M VERY FINE!!" and i totally am~ And the reason is youuuUuuuUuuuUuuUuuUu. You're the cause of my happiness~ My heart beats so fast that i can't even keep up with it~ I'm sorry i can't write long chunks of words like you do :/ I have a seriously short attention span!! Butbutbut you know. Words can't express the way i feel for you even though it kinda just did~

It pains me so much to see you sick :/ I would rather be the one being in pain! As long as you can be cured, i don't mind suffering 10 times worst than it! IRON MAN CAN TAKE THIS YAW. Seriously get well soon baby ): I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Here's my hello, don't say goodbye


In other news, i still don't get why Blake Lewis isn't like super duper successful! So underrated! My blakey. I still like him! His first album is still awesome!! At least to me. Listening to it on replay now :3 Maybe because i'm in love so love songs forever sounds so nice ~.~ It's like a bullet and it's killing killing me~ 

One of our first picture together! Hahahaha! 

HEYLO THERE. My 3 weeks holiday is coming to an end... I will definitely miss this!! 3 weeks of nothing but my babygirl~ Spend so much time just sleeping next to you and i can honestly say it's like, one of the best times of my life. LOL. I'm never gonna leave thisssss bed~

Sorry for being such a sore loser when i play games HAHAHA. Just know that i don't mean any of the things i say okay!!! Just a moment of pekcek-ness. Nerf war is fun! I'm such an ass for spraining my leg -.- Buzzkill! When my leg fully recovers, I'M COMING TO GET YA. And this time, i'mma bring out ALL my guns! HAHA! I reserve my Maverick and Barricade first ah!! Heh

I love our conversations~ Like sometimes we don't even need to talk and we can laugh our fucking ass off. Or sometimes we talk about really stupid things. I don't think you considered that talking. Like just now when you were high on your cough medicine. HAHA SO RIDICULOUS!! Funfunfun. 

Ohmahgawd, monday's gonna be our 2nd monthsary yaw. Thank you for giving me the best 2 months evaaaarrrr. I sound like some dying patient. Thank you for giving me the best last 2 months of my lifeeeee -closes eyes forever- CHOI TOUCHWOOD. YESYES. I want to be with you forever! Till eternity~ Not even death will do us part~ Not even zombies! 

I like seeing you hug my bearbear! It's like you know, i don't know. Like like 2 things that are so close to me are close to each other. FUCK THIS SOUNDS SO CHEESY AND I DUNNO. But yesyes! And now my bearbear smells abit like you~ I like i like. The smell's fading tho D: Hoho. HARP SEALS FOR THE WIN SANNN!!