my lucky strike

I... i just dreamt of Katy Perry... I won't go into the details but to sum it up... I hugged her... And she gave me a hickey... on my neck... *faints* HER FACE WAS SO CLOSE TO MINE. SHE WAS SO CLOSE TO ME. THAT PERFECT FACE RIGHT INFRONT OF ME. Everything should just stop there forever :( Why are you so perfect

Feeling a lil insecure about my sexuality :/ Some people found out i was bisexual and thought it was weird. Mannnnnn. And also my psychiatrist told me before it's better to be straight -.-" WELL WOOP DEE DOO. I CAN'T HELP IT WHAAAAT. I blame KATY PERRY!! How can i not love her :( HOW CAN YOU NOT. FUCK YOU SOCIETY!! No wait, fuck religion too. Because apparently god and whoever says that homosexuality is wrong and those crazy mofos believed it and etc. I will not go into this topic because it's very touchy... BUT I AM WHO I AM AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE ME. I don't see anything wrong with loving a human being. WHO CARES WHAT GENDER THAT PERSON IS RIGHT COME ON. Wake up!!! 

My love for Katy Perry isn't weird k. If only you knew she's the person who kept me going. The reason for my existence!! THE REASON FOR MY EVERYTHING. Are you gonna be disgusted about that? She's keeping me alive. ASDASKJDLKASJD I can't take this already la. Wake me up when September comes. 

Start of lessonszx

Hello! Lessons were pretty interesting today! The first lesson was more business related sort of psychology but it was still sort of interesting :p THE SECOND LESSON WAS MORE AWESOME OMG! Psychology of an individual~ The teacher was hilarious. He is like picking on a few people in class. Haha. In a joking way la... I'm like one of them -.-" AND HE MADE ME LEADER WHAAT. He needs like 2 leader for the class. He picked this other kiddo who is obviously more not shy and stuff AND ME. WHY ME. AHhhhhHHHHhh. Nvmnvm i can handle thiszxzx

 * caresses* I'm so tired oh god... LISTENING TO IT RIGHT NOW AND I LIKE. I haz a soundtrack to accompany me into lalaland tonight. Hehehe. Anyways, to someone else... YOU'RE REALLY CUTE LA. STOP BEING SO CUTE :( 

shampoo mohawk

I have decided i will never cut my hair super short because I LOOK CHUBBY AS FUCK HAHAHA. BUT LOOK! SHAMPOO FAUX HAWK! Weewoowee. Now i finally understand why people take so long in the toilet. ITS BECAUSE YA'LL ARE DOING THIS RIGHT. Probably not BUT ITS FUN. Previously my hair was toooo long. Can't make shit. NOW I CAN. Spending 1 hour in the shower? Wasting shampoo? No problem.

Anyways FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. I was freaking out like mad in the morning. But i went to school and everything went fine!!! It was surprisingly easy for me to just talk to people LOL. With all the strength of raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon. THERE WAS THIS GIRL. SHE KNEW ASSASSIN'S CREED. BUT SHE WAS IN MASS COMMMM. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Bleargh. Having a massive headache right now due to a moment of rage... So i won't say much. Hey at least now i have things to tell my psychiatrist. Woohoooo. 

i only want what i can't have

I promise that i won't skip school anymore. Hahaha. I used to be such a good girl :( In kindergarten and primary school, i would finish my homework before doing anything else. I would go to school everyday and i even cried when i was late once. Then it started going downhill in sec 4. I remember i skipped the entire few weeks where we have to come back for extra remedials LOL. And also normal school days... In ITE? LOL. ALTERNATE SCHOOL DAYS. To the point where people don't ask when i don't go to school anymore. Like people will always EH WHY YOU NVR COME. I skip school until they stopped asking. Hoho. 

Why hello you beautiful lady you. You're my motivation k. I will do it for you! I will live for you. I will earn money for you. I will die for you. 

Best days of my life

This song reminds me of the days back in primary school man... Those were srsly the best days ever. I'm glad i have a friend now that still remembers all these with me :P I LOVE YOU BESTIE HOHO. Still haven't pass you your present hahahaha. The box is just sitting here. mmm. Oh god this is the last time i can stay up late. If i go sleep later, i'll wake up to school already. Am i ready? Not really. But i don't have a choice!! p.s i love vanessa williams :p MY WILHELMINA <3 I will paint with all the colours of the wind~ 

asdaksdjak i can't

PLEASE JUST LOOK AT THE WAY SHE'S SITTING. AND LOOK AT WHERE JAY LENO IS LOOKING. It's okay i understand HOW CAN YOU NOT CHECK THAT OUT. DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. Sorry -.- BUT WHY IS SHE SO PERFECT PLEASE TELL ME. I CANNOT HANDLE IT ANYMORE T.T Look at them... Look at dat... Urghhhh hnggg gahhhhhhhh stop it with you and your hour glass figure

Looking at my new hamsters who just gave birth... I can't help but to think of my fattypoo... Okay previously when fatty was so chummy with the new hamster, i thought it's normal but if you see how the other two are behaving now, IT'S NOT NORMAL. IT'S... IT'S LOVE. HAHAHA HAMSTER LOVE. Seriously! Fatty and sexy poo did EVERYTHING together. Just look at them. So sweet. When i separated them, fatty was constantly biting at his cage like wanting to go back. The tragic thing is when i tried to let him go back... He was mauled to death. Killed by his own lover... 

 I remember how he so innocently approached her only to be greeted by her teeth. I remember how loudly he was squeaking for mercy while sexy poo's teeth was clenched tightly on his head. Blood was spurting everywhere. When i finally managed to pull them apart, it was too late. I still remember how he sat at the corner trying to clean his wound... His blood covered face... He could barely even move... I remember coming home finding him at the very same spot he was the last time i saw him. The only difference was that he wasn't breathing anymore... His cold and blood covered body just laid there... I remember how i cried so hard and apologized profusely while holding him. I'm sorry. I'm still sorry. I still miss you. 

 OH GOD I SHOULD STOP. Crying my heart out right now T.T Gosh this is what happens when you get too attached to something. ANYWAYS Compared to these two now, omg -.- Maybe partially because they're sibilings LOLOL. INCEST. Wait but siblings... Shouldn't they be more loving?! Fatty and sexy were complete strangers!! Bleargh kkkk i just ruined my own mood by describing that whole part again. NOW IM SAD AS FUCK URGH.

time

why hello there artsy fartsy picture of a clock

TIME IS MOVING TOO SLOWLY. Just right now. LIKE, OMG PLEASE MOVE FASTER I WANT MY KATY PERRY SHIRT, I WANT MY POSTERS AND STUFFS. ALSO MY KATY PERRY MOVIE. AND THE CONCERT. GAHHH. Dying from waiting. I might regret saying this later because... time is scary yo. Like when you're not looking BOOM. Suddenly you're 50 years old with a gun pointed to your head. That's just me. ANYWAYS! i'm so sick of waiting gawd. FASTER. MY BRAIN IS MOVING TOO QUICKLY FOR THESE SLOWNESS. I just really need to get over the first day of school... My god. I have to find the classes by myself like a bumbling idiot. Help help help help please be over soon pleasepleaseplease

OH YES THERE'S MORE THINGS IM WAITING FOR. The Walking Dead Season 3!!! The game Assassin's creed 3 andddd WATCH DOGS. Released next year dafuq. It's not just for the ps3!! It's either i read wrongly or they changed it. SO FUCK THE PS3, I DON'T NEED YO ASS. *caress xbox* At least this sorta gives me a reason to live on. HEY GURL DON'T DIE YET. The best has yet to come. Have faith. Isn't that what YOU *points* always say? Hahahha. Or just be patient la.

You think this is bad? It's only the first page. I almost puked blood when i saw how my handwriting and english was in primary 5. OH GOD. I'M SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO READ ALL THESE TEACHERS. I'M REALLY SORRY

Anyways my hamster gave birth dafuq. Fatty is a grandfather liao. 4 babies. The father is like damn scared to approach the mother and stuff LOL. He mostly just sits around staring and like not moving at all? Even when he does, he walks around super cautiously. SO CUTE LA. While the mother is going apeshit. Seriously. She's like dumping her baby everywhere, digging everywhere, and just i don't even know.

WHY ISN'T IT MARVEL

Seriously why. WHY. WHY IS IT DC. I want Marvel. Marvel is more awesome!! BECAUSE IT HAS IRON MAN AND ALL THE REST T.T ARGHHHHHHH. I would buy the whole damn store. ANYWAYS HERE ARE THE THINGS I GOTTTT. A few only :( But expensive leh. One shirt like 50 bucks wtf wtf my mum almost got a heart attack HAHAHA. 

I wanted this one with joker's face on it... But my mum says its too scary hahaha. I think she would die if i get a zombie one. I should get it eh... yes ONE DAY. YOU WAIT. Eh i suddenly remember the Harris at Somerset has iron man tshirts... AND ZOMBIES. One day. One day.

 Thish ish my favorite. Ignore my face please. It was very early in the morning and i haven't slept at all LOL. AND LOOK MY HAIR IS GONE. COME BACK HAIR. I didn't have to cut you off :( My dad wanted to help me buy more other shirts online but they didn't accept his credit card... They only accepted like visa and mastercard. His is an american express one. LE SIGH. SO INSTEAD HE GOT ME A KATY PERRY SHIRT WOOOOOOOOOO. Only got one because the rest don't have my size -.- Not that i'm fat k. They no stock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

But the thing is, i might not be able to buy it? Because they say if you're from certain countries, you have to fax don't know what information to them. Singapore is included. DAFUQ. FAX. Who in the world still owns a fucking fax machine! Oh wait i do. But WTF HOW TO USE. EMAIL LA. FAX... Srsly guise. Chortle.

sakdjalkjsd

Holy guacamole. IS THIS SOME KIND OF A SICK JOKE. Okay so previously i was thinking like... You liked rainbows. Okay. Then SHE liked rainbows too then i was like thinking how ridiculous it would be if this another SHE liked rainbows too. WELL GUESS WHAT. SHE DOES. SHE LIKES RAINBOWS TOO. WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS. JEEZUS MAN. Rainbows isn't a common thing to like!!! I MEAN LIKE USUALLY PEOPLE JUST FIND RAINBOWS BEAUTIFUL AND SHIT BUT NOT LIKE OBSESSED WITH THEM BUT YOU GUYS ARE. WHAT. WHAT. WHAAAT. Maybe i'm just over reacting -.-" NVMMM KKKKKK 

I am trying to hold on

God knows that i've tried seeing the bright side. Everything seems to be falling into place. This song and video came out at just the right time. I'm really wide awake now babygirl. It took me 4 months but now it's clear to me. Okay enough about me. You're more important. I just want you to be happy. If you're happy, i am happy. If what Russell said is true like how you're partying to get rid of the pain and will come crashing down later, please just... take care? I don't know T.T There's nothing i can do T.T But please be okay. All of us will be here. The katycats. Your kittens. I love you forever and ever. You give me the strength to live on. I'll grow old with you!

I'm not blind anymore

THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER. Not just because this song is released of course... Many other reasons... THINGS ARE STARTING TO LOOK UP :) YESSSSS. POSITIVE VIBES ALL OVER. Yeah baby give me one more night. AHh this song is srsly freaking. awesome. GAWDDD. MUST HAVE SEX TO THIS SONG. Seriously. Damn. Try to tell you no but my body keeps on telling you yes ~.~ I feel you adam. I feel you. 

I got really pissed just now because the hairdresser messed up!!!! I said to cut thinner only, my mum said cut abit shorter and now it's just short -.-" It's like, not too short but not too long kind? Which pisses of me off HAHA. Then i took a nap, woke up and realize... Dafuq is wrong with me. Since when did i care so much about my HAIR? It's just freaking hair! I guess i was just trying to impress someone. Because somebody told me i looked pretty with long hair. Maybe i just wanted to feel good about myself for once. Then i realize again... If you really loved me, you wouldn't care if my hair was long or short!!! And also because my school starts next week -.- FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTERS. Dang it. Then i realized again... If the people are gonna judge me for my hair, they are probably not worth being friends with anyways.

The only thing that's in the way now is myself. WHERE IS YOUR CONFIDENCE GURL. You're a 5 year old kiddo, confidence shouldn't be a problem right!!!!!!! Arghh. Anyways made up my mind. Mum says this wednesday she'll bring me to cut my hair again :p I STILL CAN'T GO DO SUCH THINGS ON MY OWN. Jeez man. Too socially awkward -.-"

"Be yourself and you can be anything."

Isn't she lovelyyyyyy? Look at that... beautiful smile. YOU INSPIRE ME TO DO GREAT THINGS. Actually i don't know... BUT YOU TURNED ME GAYY. Because of you i accepted who i am. I LOVE YOUUU. ENDLESSLY. SELFLESSLY. 

Confidence is really key... If you're confident, you would be fearless and then you would be able to do ANYTHING. I've always been scared... and have super low self esteem. Constantly worrying about being judged and stuff. I've always admired all those people who can ignore all those!!!! JUST DRESS THE WAY YOU WANT, BE THE WAY THAT YOU ARE. (Unless if you're a bitch, please don't) TAKE A CHANCE. You have nothing to lose! If you love the person, tell them. Don't wait. If you really want something, SAY IT OUT. You might just get what you want. If you just keep quiet forever you wouldn't know the answer right?! If you get rejected, MOVE ON. I'm feeling super fine because i am trying to open up this door. I've always kept i close but i opened it slightly previously and it has worked wonders. JUST BE MYSELF. LIKE WHAT MY BABYGIRL SAID.

I really need a house of my own. That would be great... Or i wish i had those.. trailer things. Where you can drive around and live in that thing behind? I CAN LIVE EVERYWHERE. Fuckyeah. I just... really want complete. privacy. Oh the things i could do!!!!!!!! Yes i will put this on my "goals in life" list.

Did i mentioned that i memorized all my required notes for my guitar class in less than half an hour!??! WOO HOO. I'm not sure if it's all the notes but it's on the first 3 frets one. It's a classical guitar ah. Not acoustic. Different k. ANYWAYS. I'm pretty sure there are tons of other people who can do better and stuff BUT THIS IS MY MOMENT NOW SHOO SHOO. At least i did something productive this week! And it's not as hard as i thought it would be. WooOoOoOOoooOooOoo

My left shoulder still hurtsssss. Why why why. At least its hurting for a good reason. Thank god i don't have a blue black on my head tho. THAT WOULD SUCK! 

Not for the faint hearted

I'm sorry if this disturbed you. I feel you bro. So i've been wanting lip piercings for many years now but i never really had the guts to do it? So i went to youtube videos of people getting it done to maybe calm myself down but it just made it worst. I WAS FREAKING HYPERVENTILATING WHEN THE NEEDLE POKED THROUGH HOLY SHIT. Most of the people had a poker face? Like it didn't even hurt? BUT I WAS LIKE CRINGING FOR THEM. Damn this just pushed me so many steps back. HOW NOW BROWN COW. WHY YOU SUCH A PUSSY JASMIN. *shudders* It suddenly occurred to me that this is gonna be a HOLE? In my mouth? Never really thought about that. Will water leak out from the holes? LMFAO WHAT. I DON'T KNOW. AHH DAMN IT. Fashion is pain. If you consider this a fashion thingy? Whatever uh... The point is... BEAUTY = A FUCKING PAIN IN THE ASS. Yes this is pretty to me. Shush!!

safe and souuUuuuunNnnndd

Scrolled back to my old post and realized how crazy i was over this lady right here :O I'm not saying i'm not now obviously!! But i used to post like a few times or at least once everyday about her. Damn. People must have been sian of her face HAHAHA. DON"T CARE. STILL LOVE YOU AS MUCH. NO WAIT. I love you more. I spend all those sleepless nights making up scenarios with you in my mind and i always end up smiling without me knowing. *Le sigh*

ANYWAYS. Today's my best friend and mum's birthday. Later going to watch movie and eat with my mum and brother LOL. Well. I'm sooo tired ~.~ When i finally sleep i don't get enough sleep. Then the cycle repeats..... and stufffff. I think i'm going through a not so good phase now.. HmMmMMmmm. I'll just accept it eh. Maybe it's the best way.... to not get hurt. ~.~ 

can't get a grip

You turn me on
Now don't turn it off
Cause i don't want to fade out tonight
Your lips are the sweetness
Your body's the sin
A single touch on my skin is electrified 


WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME. WHY DO I CRAVE FOR YOU. SO BADLY. 

I don't like human beings. Urgh go away. God damn. This includes myself k. I'm a human. WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. This is crappp. I feel like i'm this close from losing it. But i probably won't. But wouldn't it be great if i could? One day i'll just snap. Yay. 

Taboo

I reckon the future's gonna be really interesting. I mean just think about this. In the past, so many things were... forbidden? In other words a taboo. Simple things like having a boyfriend, wearing revealing clothings were like a sin back then! But now it's like so common!!! So things that are taboo now will be completely fine in the future. Wow. Promiscuity, nudity and homosexuality are just a few examples!! I can't decide if that's a good or bad thing LOL. The homosexuality part is fine la. You can see that the society is slowly accepting it now!! In the future it's not even gonna be an issue anymore!! Or maybe not...? IDK!! BUT JUST A THOUGHT!!!!!!!!!!! RaNnNNdoOoommMmMm

You may think the idea is crazy now but hey!! In the past those things were crazy ideas too!!!!! SO WHO KNOWS. WHO KNOWS!! Too bad i won't be alive long enough to see it. TIME TRAVEL? IMMORTALITY?! Or maybe when i'm about to reincarnate i'll somehow slip pass the lady who gives you the drink that makes you forget your past life. I'LL STILL HAVE MY AWESOME BRAIN I'LL REMEMBER EVERYTHING. YESSSS. HAHAH.

Elsa Lichtmann

I saw on some forum and someone wrote that in the second L.A Noire, they should use Elsa as a murderer! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME PLEASE? I mean! She sang the song(in the game) "I Always Kill The Things I Love." THAT'S LIKE THE ANTHEM OF A MURDERER OR SOMETHING. And now she HAS a reason to kill people! Because like, she lost Cole Phelps. She should kill Roy Earle and stuff to maybe get revenge or some shit. I JUST WANT HER TO BE A BAD ASS MURDERER CAN? DO IT DO IT. I'M STILL NOT OVER MY LOVE FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL ASS GAME. I love you Elsa :( More like i'm obsessed with your song. Which is actually sang by another person but whutever la... Same... :( 

I think i've watched too much violent and bloody things recently... The Repo Men... L.A Noire... That zombie dream... And just now... I will not elaborate on that but BLOOD. BLOOD EVERYWHERE. It has sorta gotten in my head. AND I LIKE IT. I really dooooooooooooooooooo. I wish i was a smart ass murderer. EVIL GENIUS. YES. It'll only be just a dream....... But i can't bear to hurt hamsters, how to hurt human beings? Maybe because the hamsters didn't do anything to me... And i hate human beings more... Okay...

I had an awesome dream about zombies!! IT WAS A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. Except that the zombie bites won't turn you into a zombie!! Idk why. Don't ask me then how did the zombies come about. This is how the dream was. Let's just roll with it. So at first i was killing zombies and my hand got fucked up by a zombie! After finishing up the rest of 'em, i went back to my camp then was all sad because i thought i was gonna die! But the next day i woke up and i was fine! Then i remember smiling and laughing to myself in the dream. I WAS DAMN HAPPY. I took 2 knives out and went on a killing spree. FREAKING AWESOME I TELL YOU. It's like how the guy in Repo Men killed those people. SO BAD ASS I LIKE MAN.

Parts of the dream was like me and my brother was in this house? Then there was zombies constantly at the door. We would just casually kill them. HAH! There are many parts which i can't recall :( All i remember is those awesome kills!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. 

Sunday

Most of the pictures are up on facebook already! So i won't upload all here. Just some to describe the day as it goes. Okayokay lezz go

 Just testing out my phone's camera LOL. I STILL PREFER IPHONE'S. Mine has to be in a good lighting for the pictures to look good? Else it'll turn into this odd colour. ANYWAYS!

 In the morning, went to eastpoint mall? Is that what it is called? With chiali to queue up for some meet and greet passes! The mall opens at 8am? And there are already a long queue! The passes were gone in like, 5 minutes? Like immediately after it opens all gone. Scary peeps. After that just had a random trip? We were like LET'S GO ESPLANDE. Okay can let's go HAHA.

 First time i went up there sia. I didn't know you could do that :P The weather was unforgivably hot but damn it was pretty.

 Beautiful singapore!!!! Was actually there to visit this shop that sold alot of cool shits. Like movie posters in excellent quality, like official ones and merchandises. But it wasn't opened yet! So we decided to go to the ArtScience Museum!!!!! Walked there!

 HELIX BRIDGE! TIRING SIA.  First time there too LOL

 ALOT OF ANGMOHS ON THE BRIDGE WORRRRR. An angmoh couple asked us for directions to the Singapore Flyer! *SPAZZ* SO POLITE. SO KIND. I WANNA HUG THEM LA. HAHAHA. 

 FLOWERS THINGY. GOT FISH. Chiali was like pointing GOT FISH GOT FISH. I stare so long then saw one small one. HAHAHA.

 IT WAS CLOSED!! I was standing there then inside got people? I was pressed against it pretending to be a zombie :P The two women inside saw and was laughing HAHAHA. They also tried to photobomb chiali cuz she was trying to take pic of the huge harry potter poster inside!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA AND SHE SMILED TO ME. Ahhh. Friendly strangers makes me happy.

Went to the mall... Esplanade mall? Is that what's it called? With all the fancy ass shops. There was this fountain thingy outside where people throw money and try to get it into the hold down? And from the bottom people can talk? Like it will get transferred up here!!!! Some guy talked and i was the only one who replied LOL. It went a lil something like this

Guy: Hello! Can you hear me?

Me: YES!!!

Guy: *laughs* I'm talking really softly

Me: No you're not!!

Guy: It's the effect

Me: Orh okay!

Guy: Sooo what's your name?

Me: HAHAHAHA

Then no more reply cuz i was laughing and the people around me were too x.x HAHA SAD. WE COULD HAVE HAD BECOME FRIENDS MAYBE IT WAS SOME ANGMOH GUY RIGHT. No la. He sounded malay. HAHAHA. Walked back to esplanade afterwards... SO tiring omg. Bought stuffs and WENT TOOOOO SUNTEC CITY NEXT!!

 IT FAIR! SCARY AMOUNTS OF PEOPLE. CAN DIE. BUT GOT MAROON 5!! OMGGG. Accompanied chiali to find her friend!! ANOTHER JASMIN. Wanted to go to vivo but we were too tired LOL. LEGS BREAKING. WALKED SO MUCH OMG. Anyways here are the things i bought!!!

 Bambambambam. So in love. Next, the wand? Severus snape's wand! YES!

BAMMMM! THEY REPLIED ME ON TWITTTTTTERRRR. I HOPE IT'S SAMMMMM WHO REPLIEDDDDDD OMGGGGGGGG. HE REPLIED TO ME ON YOUTUBE BEFORE ALSO HEHEHEHEHEHEHE GAHHH !!!!!!!!!

Went to jurong point and bought more stuffffss and went home. THE ENDDDDDDDDD

This is my "homework" as part of my new therapy thingy. Sho cute hor. I feel like i'm in secondary or primary school again!! Filling out those kinda tables. Omggggg. It's still blank now tho. I HAVE A MONTH TO FILL IT UP. Hahahha. Let's gooooooooo. Going out in like 2 hours!!!!!! STILL HERE ON THE COMPUTER LIKE A BOSS. Gonna look like shit later. Woohooo. 

I think i'm over you now. I just needed to get that message off my chest and i honestly feel much better now. I just NEEDED to apologize for my behavior at that period of time because it wasn't right. Other than that... I'm not sorry for anything else because i did nothing wrong. And you are not worth my love. You are not worth anything. It's like you're an empty bucket of water and i'm 3/4 full. Someone used that to compare me with someone else before HAHAHA. Ridiculous. Yesterday i still wasn't sure but now i suddenly am. Could be just my mood swing. But either way i should just record it down. Record my thoughts!

Take it like this. You are trying to cross a treacherous river and we are like those stepping stones. Sometimes, there won't be a stone!! THERE WILL BE A BIG GAP!! Even tho it's dangerous and you might not know what's in the water, YOU HAVE TO JUST GET IN THE WATER. Just for a little swim until you find the next stone you can get on. The swim might be a little hard. You might encounter like strong waves that carry you way off your path. Or maybe some piranhas that will hurt you. But you just have to fight back. This is life.

Have you ever loved someone to the point where it hurts? The thing is... at least most of you guys get to be around your crush and stuff. I will never get to be around her. I will never get to talk to her or sms her. I will never get to even SEE her up close. :( I just get to see her videos and stuff and everytime i do i feel so happy and sad? My poor achey heart. LE SIGH. THIS RELATIONSHIP IS VERY UNHEALTHY BABYGIRL. I can't help it. Y U SO AMAZING. Look at that beautiful smile :( 

hey i feel like shit again. i'll just go on my bed and lie down there. i wish i was dead i wish i was dead. that would be too easy wouldn't it? just ending everything. the challenge is to overcome the fear and physical pain. Challenge accepted. soon. soon soon soon. i'm sorry it doesn't matter. it's not anything's gonna change. life still goes on with or without me i'm just a little person in this big world full of shit. it's not worth it. it's really not. stop telling me im not a burden i know i am. you can't possibly just say it in my face hey you're a burden. no. stop trying to tell me i have good points... i have none.. those things are nothing... i'm a mess. what's the point. nobody sees them. i'm just a suicidal piece of fuck why was i brought into this world? to suffer? to make other people suffer? all i ever wanted to do was to make people smile. but what about myself? nvm i don't matter.

I feel like i'm studying before my school even start HAHA. Not because i'm hardworking or anything but purely because i absolutely love reading up about all those mental conditions? Whatever you call 'em. I GUESS THAT'S A GOOD THING. I'LL BE MOTIVATED TO STUDY RIGHT? I know that the diploma isn't just about all these mental problems and shizz but at least there's something. Hohohoho.

Needa go IMH tomorrow again. After that need to go pay my school fees!!!!!!!! Mum thinks maybe after i learn psychology no need go imh already huh. I counsel myself. LOL. Anyways i hope everything works out fine. Mr blue sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long?

I'm on my period. THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION. I LIKE HOW I'M HAPPY TO BE HAVING IT RIGHT NOW. HAHAHA. WELL. ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S POP OPEN SOME CHAMPAGNE AND DO THE TWIST! No link? I don't even know. Just a short rant..........................................................

I'll admit it. I'm weak. What didn't kill me didn't make me stronger. I'm sorry Kelly Clarkson :(

This is not how it was suppose to be

I went to IKEA again today and the memories came rushing back. Do you remember all the things you said? All the thing we were gonna do? All the places we were gonna go? All the things we were gonna buy? How our dream house would be like? The car we're gonna drive? How you're gonna get your license first and drive me around? Then when i get mine, i'll drive you around? We would just drive to nowhere because you like car rides. How i cried when you told me all that because i was so happy? 'Cause i remember very well. I... i miss you... I miss us... Still do. 

My body is ready.

PLEASE I NEED A HD VERSION OF THIS. OR LIKE THE PROPER RECORDED ONE. SERIOUSLY WHY IS TIME MOVING SO SLOWLY. COME ONNNNNNNNNNNN. THE LIVE VERSION IS FANTASTIC TOO BUT GOT PEOPLE CHEERING AND STUFF NOOO. OMG WHICH MEANS WHEN I GO SEE HIM IN SEPTEMBER I'LL HEAR HIM SING SEXILY TO EVERY SINGLE SONG. AND STUFF. WHY AM I SO EXCITED. I'M SO HUNGRY. Okay gtg liao. ONE LAST LISTEN TO THIS SONG BEFORE I LEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. 

Forrest Gump

I was skeptical about this movie at first but now i can say it's not bad... I just really don't like the way they talk LOL. What's with that accent :( It's like The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button!! IF I HEAR THEM SAY "MAMA" ONE MORE TIME IN THAT ACCENT I SWEAR I WILL PUNCH A BABY. ANYWAYS! Ignorance is bliss. Hmm. And maybe one day things will turn around...? Like for that girl. Her whole life was messed up. Or half of it. She only got herself together when she was like older... So next time when you're thinking about giving up, just hold on. It may take a while but things will get better....................................................... Hahaha!! So ironic for me to say such things. K la i shall try and motivate myself. BED TIME. Goodnight.

You said move on, where do i go?

Jasmin you have to stop. It's a slippery slope. I'm just sort of... Using them... as a replacement for you... You know? Like that Katy Perry song "Thinking Of You". In the end all i get is nothing. It temporarily fills up that void. Then i feel even more empty afterwards and i hate myself even more. I'm this close to losing it completely. These moment of weakness is gonna destroy me one day i swear. Think straight okay. Time heals all wounds. One day i wouldn't feel like that anymore. So time, please move faster... But right now, i miss you. I miss us. I still do. Like an idiot. 

"We did it Honey B. Now let's go far far away from here."

"You promise we'll never come back?"

"I promise."

And this is what you always do. I get abit bothered by you. Like sad/angry or whatever but it'll only last for awhile because i'll see something else you do and i'm reminded of why i love/loved you. Silly silly me. I can't pull myself away from you. I don't even know how i feel. Well. I can say that i like you. As a friend, as a person, whatever. But yes. I do!

Chili choli chiali's birthday

HI TODAY WAS SOME AUNTIE'S BIRTHDAY. Paiseh i don't know what to get you!!! So instead i treat you the movie tickets and itacho sushi with the other two!!!!!!!!! Anyways, CHIALI'S BIRTHDAY. Went to watch movie and eat and stuff with her, GHIM MOH and MINI WEI!!!!! She watch the movie the third time already HAHA. I understand how you feel. I'LL DO THE SAME FOR THE KATY PERRY MOVIE BUAHAHA. And i'm dragging you along toooooooooo. Then went to eat ITACHO SUSHI!

This is me using the ice cube as a cup. IT WORKS SIA. There's the big hole in the middle. Fucking cool please. Paiseh ah, i never post like a picture of her and me or all of us. Instead you just get to see me being retarded. Then we did stuff. I'm lazy to write nowww lack of sleep. I'll write a letter to you k. AS I WILL TO EVERYONE ELSE. LETTERS! LETTERS FOR EVERYONE! I just need to get like motivated. Or when i can get my thoughts together. Which is a very hard thing. OKKKKK BYE

Cartoon at it's best!!!

Recently discovered my childhood cartoons on Youtube!! OH NOSTALGIA. These are seriously awesome. If you've never seen them before and you have time, check em' out. It's like art. It's just beautiful. My favorite since i was young is this!!

SO MAGICAL. I don't wanna spoil anything but it's really just... SO AWESOME!!!! Even until now i remember the scenes so clearly. The one below is the creepiest.

THE EVIL TREE IS FREAKING SCARY PLEASE. I had nightmares about evil trees thanks to this LOL. But still awesome. Kudos to the brilliant people who came up with all these!! I spent most of my childhood watching these, Teletubbies and Tom & Jerry on CD. I didn't have Cartoon Network and all those other cartoon channels so these were all i had! Maybe that's why i'm so messed up huh. HAHA. I GREW UP WATCHING SYMPHONIES, WEIRD ALIEN THINGS AND A CAT AND MOUSE! Tom & Jerry is really violent btw. It's violence without the gore and blood LOL.