ZOMBIES APOCALYPSE?! not!!!!!!!!!!!!

As much as i love zombies i seriously don't wanna be in a zombie apocalype!! Unless of course if i have all the necessary weapons and equipment to kill them and live in, IT'S ALL GOOD. KILL ALL THE ZOMBIES!!! But the problem is i don't and i'm a big wuss. Okay to be serious i believe most people have heard about the man eating the other guy's face off? The police shot him like 6 times before he finally went down. He was on drugs... Come on guyssss. Then there's this fake article about the guy being infected by some virus called LQP-79 or some shit. Come on guysss. We all know the zombies virus is called a T Virus. HAHAHA. He was shot 6 times before he went down. Did they get his brain? If they didn't shoot his brain and he died, THAT AIN'T A ZOMBIE!!!! 

I'll miss you, Ezio.

I just ordered this poster from ebay!! Hopefully it's as awesome as it looks :( AND IT'S REALLY BIG TOO!!! Like as big as my TV sia. 42 inches or something. WOO SO BAD ASS

Guitar lesson is seriously okay! I mean now it's like teaching how to read notes. CAN DIE. SOME PARTS SO CONFUSING. But there are some funny moments. Yesyes. LAUGHTER MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND AND ROUNDDDD. Was on the bus and there was this cute ass baby. A happy cute baby is a great entertainment for everyone! Until he started to cry. LOL OMG. Poor mum was trying to hold him and stuff and coax him. Silly silly babies. A second ago they're crying their eyes out, the next second they're distracted by something shiny. Interesting. Very interesting indeed.

*faints*

I am usually a very calm and easy going person but so far there's only 2 people in my life who bring out all the rage in me. One is you and the other is MY MOTHER. I know. She's my mum. I respect her as a mother but i don't respect her a human being. She's nice and all, she's doing a good job as a mother but as a human to human level? Boy she's failing. If you don't drop the "I'm your mother listen to me" attitude, this is never going to work!! You think its for my own good but it's not. Do you listen to my reasons? NO!! I KNOW MYSELF MORE THAN YOU KNOW ME!! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DO.

You don't understand... You don't... Nobody does... I don't want to hurt you... I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone. And now even by doing my own things... it's hurting you...? I'm not bothering anyone....? But why is it making you so miserable...? The last thing i want to do is cause misery to anyone... I'll stop doing anything okay? I'll stop... I'll never do anything again... That'll please you right? It'll appease you...

Let's end my day on another painful note shall we? And again my mum has managed to completely ruin my day. Everything was going fine until you fucking woke up. Stop overreacting. You're gonna collapse one day because of me using the computer? Please listen to yourself. That is fucking exaggerating. I am sitting at home. Using the damn computer. WHY MUST YOU OVERREACT. PLEASE COME TALK TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE SOME REAL FUCKING PROBLEMS. I TOLD YOU BEFORE IT'S OKAY. STOP WORRYING SO MUCH. I'M NOT GIVING YOU THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT BUT YOU KEEP DIGGING UP FOR THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Or would you prefer it if i go out drinking/hanging around late at night? Because i can fucking do that. I promise you i can. I just don't fucking want to. SO STOP FUCKING WORRYING BEFORE I GIVE YOU SOMETHING REAL TO WORRY ABOUT GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.

CALL ME DISRESPECTFUL OR WHATEVER BUT THIS IS FOR HER OWN DAMN GOOD. JUST LET ME DO WHAT I WANT. IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT'S BAD. LET ME DO WHAT I WANT AND YOU WILL BE FINE WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT. JUST LET GO. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I AM SO SICK OF BEING IN THIS PLACE

I have sorted this out. There is really no point in my existence. Even such a simple thing as using the computer is a burden to my mother. Everything i do is wrong. I'm nothing but a burden to everyone. Nobody fucking cares. I'm better off dead. I won't be a bother to you guys ever again. You guys don't even fucking bother anyways. SO FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK IT. Maybe it's just in the heat of the moment and i'll feel better when i wake up tomorrow but this is what i'm feeling right now and i really wish i has some pills to help me through it.

SPEAKING OF PILLS, SHE DOESN'T EVEN WANNA LET ME TAKE THEM. SHE DOESN'T GET THAT THESE EMOTIONS ARE NOT SOMETHING THAT I WANT IT'S COMING ON ITS OWN AND I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO FIGHT IT SO I NEED MEDICATION. TO HELP ME. ELSE IT'S TORTURING. BUT YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT DISGUSTED FACE WHENEVER THE DOCTOR SUGGEST MEDICATION. LET ME HAVE IT. PLEASEEEEEEEEE. Then maybe i can fucking overdose on it and die or something. Then you'll be free mum. You'll be free.

i don't want to be here

Because of you

I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me

but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake

A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

Not bad

What a great way to start a day! I don't say morning because i just woke up at like 6pm. LOL ANYWAYS! Received a letter from someone!! It was short and stuff but it was so cute omg. Which reminds me that i still owe someone else a letter... Okok i'm working on it! Maybe i'll write it to everybody eh. Then i turned on the tv, BAM! KATY PERRY. Whenever i see her on tv i'll tend to give a stupid smile and say "Heh hello babygirl" and i feel retarded for a moment. You're the only person who makes me feel this wayyyyy. Lastly i turned on my computer and BAM!! "Joshua Kloss is now following you on Twitter!" BREATHE JASMIN BREATHE. Doesn't matter if he's following everyone!! HE FOLLOWED MEEEEEEEE THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA KEEP IN MY BRAIN. HE KNOWS I EXISTTTT. YOU HOTTY McHOTHOT HOTPANTS. SPAZZZZZZ

we're higher than a motherfucker~

You're so relentlessly beautiful. I mean that in the best possible way. I love you :3

"Fuck who you want and fuck who you like" Lyrics of the year right there. Oh silly silly nicki minaj. It's a good song tho... As in the beats and all. So catchy ~.~ But you can't say that line is not true!! Right right? Kkk what am i saying. STARSHIPSSSS WERE MEANT TO FLLYYYYYYY

Chasing the sun

You can roughly tell how a person is by seeing where and how they sit on a bus. This is just a rough assumption hor. I might not be right but it's still fun to access human behavior. For example, when a person sits on the outside seat leaving the inside empty, that person is selfish. But if the person is still willing to automatically move when there are people, that person just dislikes sitting inside/trying to hide from the sun. I WILL NOT ELABORATE MORE BECAUSE IT'S BORING AND I DON'T WANNA APPEAR LIKE A CREEPO WHO CREEPS ON PEOPLE ON THE BUS EVEN THOUGH I TOTALLY DO. HEHEHEHE. 

i woke up with this song stuck in my head

"Should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere."

Its not even relevant to anything to me right now. Pfft. Go away Adele! I get it, you're awesome. NOW BE GONE! I've been feeling so lazyyy. Even though i've slept alot. All i've done is like, go out and have lunchies with peepo, use the computer and laze around. I think i might be becoming a worm. Last night everything came crashing down. M'kay i've said enough here and saying this to myself will help me in no way... So i shall bother the doctor with it! TO THE INVISIBLE(pause) BOATMOBILLLLEEEEEEEE

You're one of the reasons why i'm broken. I know you were not the one who said it but... why did you not defend me? Your own daughter? And when i got pissed because hey my self esteem was already gone, you continued defending that other person more. That other person who you didn't even liked. You told me that yourself. You didn't like him. Why are you helping him? Is it so hard to stand up for me? Just help me a little... Or maybe you just didn't have to tell me that. You didn't. Some things are better left unsaid. Please... just help me? Why won't you...? You can sympathize when your friends tell you about how their children is emotionally unstable and shit like that but why can't you do the same for me? YOUR OWN DAUGHTER. WHY DID YOU BRING ME INTO THIS WORLD. WHY DID YOU RAISE ME ONLY TO BRING ME DOWN

it's hard to think of a title...

I think some people might offended if i tell them the real meaning behind my tattoo LOL. It's nothing meaningful like "oh my mum died and its a tribute to her" or some shit. It's more... dark. It might seem abit stupid too :P But if you watched the movie Jennifer's Body, you might get it!!! Mine's abit off tho... Not really in the position that i want!! IT HAS TO BE ABIT FURTHER BACK. The tattoo artist fucked up! OH WELL. What's done cannot be undone. Like seriously. It's permanent. Hehhh. Maybe because my jaw line isn't as defined as his ~.~ Cannot differentiate my neck and my cheek huh HAHAHA. Omg i sound like a thumb or something.

Do names really affect the way we are? Like you know how the chinese are very superstitious about names? A simple name can affect your life badly or make it wonderfullllll and magicalllll like unicornsssssss. If you've got a shit name then you're fucked. Do you agree? For me all i know is don't get a common name!!! It will be a hell of a disadvantage when playing games that requires name shouting. Trust me, i'm Jasmin. It's those sorta ice breaker games when a person has to be in the middle or a circle, then the people in the circle has to shout a name and the person in the middle has to go catch 'em. In order to not get caught, shout another person's name etc etc. I hope you get this? I'm horrible at explaining things. ANYWAYS! HAVING A NAME THAT'S SO EASY TO REMEMBER? YOU'RE FUCKED. ERRBODY REMEMBERS YOU. JASMIN JASMIN JASMIN. Everytime i play this sorta games i have to be on my toes!!!!!!!!! We should all just give our kids long ass names like Gewndolyn(i found it on google). WHAT A MOUTHFUL MAN.  People'll avoid yer name. Safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*swoons*

Maroon 5's new album comes out in June, which means that when i attend the concert in September, i can hear songs from FOUR of their albums!! OMG SO MANY SONGS. They'll probably just take some and not sing all obviously... BUT WOULDNT IT BE AWESOME IF THEY DO?!?! Songs About Jane, It Won't Be Soon Before Long, Hands All Over and OVEREXPOSED!!! I'M SO EXCITED HOLY SHIT!!!

Stranger Than Fiction

I always end up liking things i never thought i would! Same goes for this awesome movie!! I need to stop falling in love with fictional characters tho... But sometimes fictional characters are modeled after real human beings... Hmm. WHERE ARE YOU AWESOMELY AWESOME PEOPLE?! This movie made me realize how much i love brains ~.~ Like the author in the show, Karen Eiffel, her brain is so... Awesome!! I know it's just a movie and she didn't really write that book but whoever wrote the script and stuff is a genius!! A GENIUS I SAY!!!! Oh and also there are real authors in the world and they are probably a lil eccentric too. HOHO. I LIKEEE. The literature professor guy too... I love how he just has all these facts and books and shizz in his brain. I wanna be like this too~ Full of information like a walking encyclopedia. Bleargh. I just wished she didn't changed the ending of the book tho... HAROLD CRICK SHOULD DIE. THAT ENDING WAS BRILLIANT!!!!! 

feast your eyes upon the goddess

There's a hickey or a bruise

IT IS JUST ME OR DOES IT LOOK LIKE AN ASSASSIN'S CREED SYMBOL?! LOLOLOLOL. Like look closely. There's like the top half of it. Hmm yesyesyesyes. I APPROVE.

I like to help people. Yes. I have found a calling in my life!!!!! I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE. But i'm shy. HAHA. What. I NEED OPPORTUNITIES FOR ME TO HELP PEOPLE. IT MAKES ME HAPPY. Like right now i'm trying to talk to someone. Maybe end of year going to some third world area to help build shizz. COME ON COME ON I WANT I WANT I WANTTTTTTTTTT

Mother's day!

Holla!! Went to Malaysia for mother's day!! With my aunts and cousins and whoever. Pretty interesting!!! In the morning we went to this place for like dimsum and buns, there was an explosion. Like literally an explosion!!! We were all done eating then just sitting around suddenly there was a loud BOOM in the kitchen. Sounded like something fell until someone in the kitchen started shouting in chinese "FIRE FIRE". You wouldn't believe how fast the people cleared out!! LOLOL. DAMN EPIC. Like bam, 10 seconds, the whole coffeeshop place thingy empty already. Errbody standing outside. One person got injured and all of their food in the kitchen got destroyed. A moment of silence for the lost of them delicious buns and dim sums...

After that went to this restaurant by the beach thing. I have no idea what are the exact names and terms for these places hahahaha. EAT AND EAT ONLY! We were in this VIP room and you can karaoke and shizz.  Not bad. And got like a pretty view of the sea also. Plus you can see all the people walking back and forth at the dock XD GOT A LADY DRESSED LIKA BANANA TAKING PICTURE. She was wearing a yellow long dress ah. Not literally a banana suit. That would be epic. A banana by da sea. Hmm.

OKAY ANYWAYS! Happy mother's day mummmmmmmmmmmmmm. You are a great mum and i'm a spoiled brat. So don't mind me when i lose my temper and stuff at you. Heh. I don't mean it!! But you're sorta tolerant. And also you're one of the few people that i act like a child to. Like i can roll on the floor and act cute and you'll still entertain me. I know you're very stressed and worried about me. Just chill okay? I got this! I love youuuuuuuuuu.

"Thanks to you i got a new thing started"

One day, you'll be mine.

Ahhhhhh lazy days. So lazy to do anything. Even had to cancel my movie plan. HEH. I'M SORRY. But i really don't feel like doing anything x.x My guitar lesson starts next monday. Nervous? Meeting new people. Not a fan of that but i'll get through it. Hopefully. My skills in Guitar Hero has improved. Not like it'll help but at least it's something xp REPLAYING L.A NOIRE BECAUSE IT'S COOL. Rolling around at home mostly. OH SHIT I KEEP FORGETTING TO SEND A PICTURE OF MYSELF TO MDIS. Omgomg. He said i can send in a picture from facebook but let's face it, none of my picture on facebook will suffice HAHAHA. I MEAN REALLY. LOOK AT ALL THE FACES AND POSES I'M IN. Urgh. Brain, y u so rusty. OH YES AND ARCHERY! Need to go sign up for that tooo. Hoooo. 

In life, one person will come along and fuck you and everything up. Makes you rethink everything.This is where we are made. This is where we change and remain for the rest of our lives. We either grow stronger, become heartless, stay broken, etc. It could either be a curse or a blessing in disguise. You have a choice. Which way will you take it? The good or the bad? Everything will get better. I swear. I am still holding onto that belief which is why i still haven't killed myself. Good little things just keep popping up out of nowhere and guide me along this path to happiness. Just 3 months ago i thought everything was hopeless. I thought i would never be happy again. Just look at me now! I held myself together, passed through that shitty time. I'm not saying i'm completely well now but i'm better. I still miss you occasionally. I thought about what i would do if i see you in real life. I'll be honest here, i thought of... hugging you and saying how much i hate you. Another choice would be just stabbing you while saying how much i love you. Which is better? Anyways, let's just hope. Maybe another 3 months later, i'll completely walk out of this and you'll become nothing but a figment of my memory.

Isn't she gorgeous?

The Goddess <3

maybe

Wouldn't it? This song makes me feel happy and sad at the same time... Happy because it's an amazing song. Sad because... Uh nvm i don't wanna go there. LET'S JUST ENJOY THIS!

I don't know what to feel. I don't know how i feel. Oh god why is this stressing me out. Not really but i'm just in a conflict with myself x.x Fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. BRAIN Y U NO MAKE UP YOUR MIND. There's someone who loves me right now. At least he says that he does. I'm scaredddddddddddd. What if i go through all the same shit again? T.T I don't want to but... i can't burn down the entire forest because of one small flower right? What happened to no regrets, just love?!?! x.x I want to break freeeeeeeee. I'll... go become an Assassin.......................

The first person i'll assassinate is my brother -.-" Oh my god srsly. He keeps playing his stupid blackshot now and shouts into the fucking microphone. DUDE. I wouldn't mind if its like in the evening but it's 1 freaking am. Yes i know my singing is equally noisy but at least i don't sing at 1 in the freaking morning!!! Would it kill you to talk and not SHOUT!!! Then everytime my mum will get pissed off and all the pointless drama starts. Whyyy why why whyyyy

i ain't vain

DOES MY ARM LOOK SKINNY OR WHAAT?!

Was feeling in the mood after wearing my iron man shirt so i camwhored with my shitty webcam. HAHAHA OHhhh. Then kinda got in the moment and took some pictures that the world will never see!!! Unless of course after i die. Feel free to embarrass me because i won't feel nothing no more! Oh and also thanks to you for raising my self esteem or maybe it's just my bipolar/borderline disorder doing it's work? Not even confirmed yet. We shall see again.

OKAY ANYWAYS I WENT TO WATCH THE AVENGERS WITH GHIM MOH AND IT WAS BLOODY AWESOME. OH GOD. Even more awesome than i expected especially when they all got together and stufff. NERDGASMS ALL DAY LOOOONG. EVEN THE ADVERTISEMENTS BEFORE THE MOVIE WAS AWESOME. We went in a little late and BOOM, ADIDAS COMMERCIAL. My babygirl's beautiful face. So close on that screen. Oh pure perfection. After that there was kpop and ONEW OMG. Yyayayayayayayayayyyy happy me is happy. 

After that had to took a cab home cuz it was like 12.30am. I LOVE DESERTED PLACES. ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE FOREVER. Hoooohhhaa. I know you're probably not going to see this so i shall put this here. MY BEST FRIEND IS OBSESSED WITH PADS. Sanitary pads to be exact. Hehehe. End sceneeee

Turn back time to the moment when you still love me :(

*heaves a sigh of relief*

What a dayyyy. Started off with me almost forgetting to print and bring stuff for MDIS. Then i was at the MRT station when this lady approached while laughing. Abit awkward... Then she just ask does this train go to Clementi. LOL. I told her yeah and i was going there too. THEN MET MAWADDAH AND HAYATI. Ate too much yogurt LOL. Walked around and later took 99. Wanted to take like one round but some piggy too lazy eh!!! Hahahaha. 

THEN I LOST MY WALLET. OH GODDD. It must have fallen out of my pocket somewhere then i just couldn't find it?! But it was definitely on the bus cuz i tapped in!!! There was this malay family at the side who helped me look for it. So nice of them T.T I didn't even ask them to do that! They just saw me looking around frantically then i was like "I lost my wallet :(" and they were like lifting up all their things and looking around. Even their small little child got off his seat and looked below the chairs!!!!!! Srsly amazed by the kindness of strangers. Gave up and alighted ah. Thanks to hayati who lend me cash to get to dhoby ghaut!!!!!

Was sadly waiting for the train at Boon Lay and suddenly i got a call from Yamaha. I was like srsly what chu want. I didn't say it out of course LOL. Then the lady was like "Someone found your wallet." I was so ecstatic omg. I was literally shouting with excitement on the phone. "REALLY? OHMYGOD WHOOOO?" She gave me her contact number and bammmmmmmmm. YESSSS 

Another random lady at raffles city came towards me and she had this weird vibe... Then she ask me if the train went to dhoby ghaut. I was like yeah, i'm going there to. DEJA VU MUCH. Not really but kinda. Apparently my face shows that i know directions LOL. No la. Confirm is because i got the kind and cute face then they approach me. HAHAHA BHB. ANYWAYS FINALLY GOT TO MDIS AND REGISTERED AND EVERYTHING AND BAMMMMMMM I'M IN. HURRAHHH. That was easy. School starts in June~~ *dances around* So touched that so many people are happy for me :3 *hugs everybody*

Went to meet the lady to get my wallet and i somehow think that she thinks that i'm crazy thanks to the IMH appointment card LOLOL She got her husband there also like afraid that i'll start clawing at her face or something. Don't worry lady, i'm perfectly sane and nice as long as you don't step on my toes! :D In conclusion to this longgggggggggggg and boring and retarded post: 

"I've made mistakes but i don't regret anything." - Katy Perry

You will always hold the keys to my heart. AND THAT SUCKS!! I can't have you. I know you will never be mine. Not in a million years. BUT I CAN'T GET OVER YOU. I DON'T WANT TO GET OVER YOU. You're just... too amazing... I don't ever want to stop loving you but... I SHOULD STOP. YOU'RE JUST MY IDOLLLLLLLLLL NOT THE LOVE OF MY LIFEEEEEEE. I need to stop this -.- This relationship is reallllyyy not healthy. But... since when has any of my relationships been healthy huh? I've been jumping treacherous waters. Maybe i should stop.... falling into them... I'm such an idiot~ 

ANYWAYS. On to the third Hunger Games book! I must say, it's pretty good so far. Can't wait for the movies to be released! Gogogogo.

serenity

Isn't it beautiful?

I want to go to Scotland. I've wanted to go there ever since i saw someone blogged about it long ago... Can't remember who but the place seems so beautifullllll. I'm referring to those countryside areas... I don't know ah. Oh and also because i love their accents omg. Ashley Jensen's scottish accent is one of the big reasons why i watch Ugly Betty. EARGASMS ALL DAY LONG? SUREEEEEEEE. I can't take living in city areas :( Everything seems so rushed and... just not nice. Hmmm. Wait till i'm older. I'll save enough money and i'm getting out of here. Okok this is my plan for now. When i'm 30 i'm leaving hereeeee. I don't know where i'm going to end up once i reach there. Homeless? HAHA. Still better than being here. I'm so inspired to just pack my bag and leave thanks to Alex Day. I shall not elaborate on that part... Meh.

Sometimes i wish Singapore was bigger. I want to be super far away from here. To the other end of Singapore isn't big enough :( I want to just jump on a train and never look back. Leave everything behind. Run away from here. From you. From myself.

Scumbag brain

Well fuck you too, brain!

Tattoos and schools

This could be the most perfect picture of Adam Levine ever. I mean it consists of almost everything i love about this smexy man right here! That beard. Those chest hair. That nose. Those tattoos. That raised eyebrow. Speaking of tattoos, i really want alot of 'em :( Sadly, it's still frowned upon in certain societies... I know in the past it used to be a symbol for gangs but this is the 21st century! Please open up your mind and move forward! Don't be stuck in the past. Now it's just a form of expressing one's individuality, a form of art or it just looks super AWESOME!!! Furthermore it doesn't hurt that bad? I have been through much worse. The pain after surgery is even more intense. Trust me, i've been through it twice. This is nothing!! 

My fingers are crossed. If it all goes well, i can finally be in my dream course. Even though it's not like in poly which means i didn't work THAT hard to get in and stuff, IT'S STILL MY DREAM COURSE. I shall not say much about it now. Once i get it, i will write a speech. HAHA. But if i don't get it... I'll go sweep the floors k. I am eligible for the course. The only thing that's in the way is MONEY and my mum -.-" She doesn't say it out but i know she has ALOT of doubts about it. Confirm against it one. She doesn't get why i want psychology so bad and she thinks it's like a useless course... Let's face it. Isn't like most of the courses useless? I mean really. When are we gonna use that in our lives? Most of us are just in it for the certificate or something. She doesn't believe in me.